An Interview With Marilyn: Part 6

Why Humor Is a Self-Care Essential

Interviewer: I love that humor is something you want to bring to the forefront of your teachings. This stuff can be really heavy, but like we were saying before, our natural state of being is contentment. I’m curious: What else would you have to say about that?

Marilyn: I might actually go so far as to say that joy is a little more our natural state than contentment.

There was a guy named Norman Cousins who had just been diagnosed with cancer, and he wrote Anatomy of an Illness. He locked himself in a hotel room and just did nothing but watch comedies. He just played movies for a whole week, and I think there were some follow-up studies on how it helped his immune system.

I have a friend that calls laughter “carbonated spirituality.” I guess in the lower mammalian kingdom we’d call it “playfulness.” Obviously, my cat Lucy doesn’t tell jokes, but she’s playful. There’s no survival need in that; she’s just able to enjoy life. I think that it is important—there’s a difference between making fun of somebody and being playful.

I just think joy is the reason for living, you know what I mean? Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love—she talked about when you get to be an adult, you’re not trying to get your unmet needs met, you’re not going toward each other with need of each other, but with desire. She said what two true adults are really looking for are playmates. I’m always looking for good comedy that’s not at the expense of somebody.

Interviewer: Sometimes it takes courage to have that full, embodied expression of joy. Because it can make people uncomfortable.

Marilyn: If they are uncomfortable with your smile, you didn’t make them uncomfortable. What we’re really sorry for is that what you did had a certain effect on the other person. But how could you make someone feel all these different emotions? All you did was smile. So much of this is easy to say, but it takes courage to practice it. You don’t have to be overly concerned about what somebody might think. It takes courage to be ourselves. You might be “too much” for some people, but you have to consciously work and decide not to go back into your shell, and say, “I’m just gonna be myself,” and that’s a lifetime journey.